Chuck Norris Must Be Launched Into Space - TODAY

That's it! I'm doubling my Swedish lessons and getting the hell out of here.

First, a study showed that 55% of Americans believe that not only is the Constitution a Christian document but that religious freedom is essential to our society...so long as that religion is Christianity. The survey revealed 97% claiming freedom of religious practice was essential to our liberty; but only 56% believed that applied to all relgions.

Now, Chuck Norris--that's right, Walker, Texas Ranger--is publishing conservative political propaganda. (I'll ignore the larger question of Why should Chuck Norris be given a public platform to endorse a candidate. Yeah, he's kicked people in the face on tv, but, really.) He's endorsing former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee for the presidency. Huckabee was previously known not for governing really but for losing a lot of weight while governor. The other day, he blazed a new rep for himself by referring to abortion as a baby holocaust.

(Even more inexplicable is that Huckabee made this comparison as a way to explain why the US imports labor. We've aborted future laborers, you see--fetuses that might otherwise develop into dishwashers, uninsured fieldhands, etc. But we've aborted these future low-wage workers, so we have to accept foreigners into our society...though one wonders why zealot politicians fail to see foreigners as a segement "to be perfected" by Christianity, as Anne Coulter phrased it.)

Back to Chuck: In his endorsement of Huckabee, dude has been quoted as saying, "Like our Founding Fathers, he's not afraid to stand up for a Creator and against secularist beliefs.”

Yep. I remember that stand. Remember? when the Founding Fathers REFUSED TO RATIFY THE CONSTITUTION WITHOUT A BILL OF RIGHTS? such as the SEPARATION of Church and State? Remember that, Chuck?

May you be kicked in the groin, Chuck. And often.

STATS PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
HUCKABEE MIGHT CONSIDER

* While he's anti-abortion, his state, Arkansas, has an above-avergage infant mortality rate: 7.5 per 100 births (US: 6.4)
* Arkansas has the second highest percentage of toddlers who haven't received immunization shots: 33%!!
* The sixth highest rate of low-birthweight babies: 13%!!
* And despite Huckabee's weight loss, which was good, Arkansas remains unmoved as the 8th most obese state in the US

Dude, if you're going to be so gung-ho about bringing babies into the world, TAKE CARE OF THEM!!