måndag, oktober 22, 2007

Chuck Norris Must Be Launched Into Space - TODAY

That's it! I'm doubling my Swedish lessons and getting the hell out of here.

First, a study showed that 55% of Americans believe that not only is the Constitution a Christian document but that religious freedom is essential to our society...so long as that religion is Christianity. The survey revealed 97% claiming freedom of religious practice was essential to our liberty; but only 56% believed that applied to all relgions.

Now, Chuck Norris--that's right, Walker, Texas Ranger--is publishing conservative political propaganda. (I'll ignore the larger question of Why should Chuck Norris be given a public platform to endorse a candidate. Yeah, he's kicked people in the face on tv, but, really.) He's endorsing former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee for the presidency. Huckabee was previously known not for governing really but for losing a lot of weight while governor. The other day, he blazed a new rep for himself by referring to abortion as a baby holocaust.

(Even more inexplicable is that Huckabee made this comparison as a way to explain why the US imports labor. We've aborted future laborers, you see--fetuses that might otherwise develop into dishwashers, uninsured fieldhands, etc. But we've aborted these future low-wage workers, so we have to accept foreigners into our society...though one wonders why zealot politicians fail to see foreigners as a segement "to be perfected" by Christianity, as Anne Coulter phrased it.)

Back to Chuck: In his endorsement of Huckabee, dude has been quoted as saying, "Like our Founding Fathers, he's not afraid to stand up for a Creator and against secularist beliefs.”

Yep. I remember that stand. Remember? when the Founding Fathers REFUSED TO RATIFY THE CONSTITUTION WITHOUT A BILL OF RIGHTS? such as the SEPARATION of Church and State? Remember that, Chuck?

May you be kicked in the groin, Chuck. And often.


* While he's anti-abortion, his state, Arkansas, has an above-avergage infant mortality rate: 7.5 per 100 births (US: 6.4)
* Arkansas has the second highest percentage of toddlers who haven't received immunization shots: 33%!!
* The sixth highest rate of low-birthweight babies: 13%!!
* And despite Huckabee's weight loss, which was good, Arkansas remains unmoved as the 8th most obese state in the US

Dude, if you're going to be so gung-ho about bringing babies into the world, TAKE CARE OF THEM!!


Blogger Mike said...

When Chuck Norris plays "The Oregon Trail," none of his party dies of cholera. Instead, they all die of roundhouse kicks to the head, and then Chuck Norris carries his wagon to Oregon.

3:47 em  
Blogger cK said...

Whoa. I'd hate to see how he carves his way through Lemonade Stand!

3:52 em  
Blogger Night Editor said...

And to think the Ugly American originated in the 1950s. . . .

4:33 em  
Blogger Sassmaster said...

Amen, dude. Chuck Norris does not even do his own kicking anymore. He cannot be trusted.

7:24 em  
Blogger Buckeyegirl said...

Happened upon your blog... enjoyed it immensely. Totally agree with the sentiment... I will never understand the christian right. period.

7:08 em  

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